Day 288: ‘Girlfriend Wanted’, a poem by Matthew Gray Gubler

17 Apr

Matthew Gray Gubler in Life Aquatic (aka the fro man in the back)

I am in love with him. circa 2004 that is.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a marine biologist. I was in love with the fish and the deep, the aquarium, the world of the ocean. It was my passion.

Honestly, if I could, I’d give up everything to go out on the sea. I personally own three books by the late Jacques-Yves Cousteau, and I still love to be surrounded by fish.

So, in 2004 (when I was 13 years old), I went to see The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (2004), the famous Wes Anderson film. Practically everyone hated it (at least most people I talked to), but I am in love with it. I found love for one of the stranger actors, and my love has only blossomed over time.

The name: Matthew Gray Gubler… who does he play? Intern #1… I’m not joking. He’s the guy with the fro that stays on the boat, for those of you Life Aquatic connoisseurs.

Well, tonight I realized that he’s still amazing and has gotten incredibly more good looking. He’s a filmmaker, an actor, a model… I love everything about him.

So, for today’s post I’ve decided to feature a poem he wrote, and in addition his fake documentary series on youtube. So enjoy!

‘Girlfriend Wanted’ by Matthew Gray Gubler

must love decorating for holidays
kissing in cars
and wind chimes

no specific height
hair color
or political affiliation required
but would prefer a warm spirited non racist

and “stick in the muds” need not apply

voluptuous figures a plus

any similarity in look, mind set, or fashion sense to
mary poppins
claire huxtable
snow white
or elvira wholeheartedly welcomed

i am dubious of actresses, fellons and lesbians
but dont want to rule them out entirely

must be tolerant of whistling
tickle torture
james taylor
and sleeping late

i have a slight limp
eerily soft hands
and a preternatural love of autumn

i once misinterpreted being called a coal-eyed dandy as a compliment
when it was intended as an insult

i wiggle my feet in my sleep
am scared of the dark
and think the Muppets Christmas Carol is one of the greatest films of
all time

all i want is
butterfly kisses in the morning
peanut butter sandwiches shaped like a heart
and to make you smile until it hurts

40 Responses to “Day 288: ‘Girlfriend Wanted’, a poem by Matthew Gray Gubler”

  1. Fabiola Palacios May 17, 2011 at 10:37 pm #

    If he read this it be wonderful, but reality is everyone else will but him. That’s okay though. Love the poem, and the fact that someone can just pour out their heart they way he has is amazing. Took my breathe away when he said all he wanted was “peanut butter sandwiches shaped like hearts and to make you smile till it hurts”. ( great! B/c i cant cook. Hahah) Amazing! I mean who expresses themselves like this anymore? This is the ideal guy I myself or any women would be lucky to come by. Xoxoxo- F@BBY

  2. majelka May 30, 2011 at 6:25 am #

    I absolutely adore MGG! He’s so funny and modest. It’s hard to find people like him these days. This poem he wrote is truly moving. It’s a pity I’ll never meet him.

    Oh, and he has a girlfriend now. He says it here:

  3. LOUELLA LOVELL November 21, 2011 at 6:46 pm #

    I like long hot baths, tickling and all the above I am an awesome cook and baker, I like sleeping in and ready to accept my man working long hours and I handle stress well. I am patient and loving I dont play head games and I dont judge nor am I prejustist I love children and dogs. I like cosbys and chipmunks and the muppets, I am honest and trustworthy, I am reliable and ready.
    I can handle what ever life throughs at me and I like laughing and spending time with people I care about I was born in 1972. I have dark hair and a nice figure, I work hard and sometimes look forward to the rest. This is my cell number Matthew text me if you wanna chat I give the best ever Kisses,,,,,,,,I love October when all the leaves change colour and I love Halloween. I love decorating witht he right person, and need my life fulfilled,
    1226-821-0329,,,text only my emails are I like to look good when I dress. I am a cynic and a smartass and can and will speak my mind. So Matthew drop me a line or text anytime.

    • LOUELLA LOVELL November 21, 2011 at 6:48 pm #


    • Daphney Bardling November 6, 2012 at 10:28 pm #

      As an artist I won’t fight for this love I’m just glad he’s in the world. Thank you Lord, you are good. I follow Matt on his web page and have made a mockery of everything. I wish I could take it back. But, he got me through my roughest nights, nights of sorrow and a hard life. Thank you,

      with love.

  4. evelyn November 22, 2011 at 9:37 pm #

    you are SO cute!!! haha :)

  5. Heather Antras November 23, 2011 at 1:01 pm #

    What a beautiful poem, and I am not even a big fan of poetry. I think I am in love :)

  6. KKalista December 11, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

    Its had not to like a guy who is looking for the kind of women that can pull off being both a claire huxtable and elvira type while slathering bread with peanut butter.

  7. Criminal minds fanatic December 26, 2011 at 5:52 pm #

    Awesome poem!!!! That was beautiful!!!

  8. Cowboys fan 4ever December 27, 2011 at 7:03 pm #

    This is sooo one of my favorite poems ever now!!!!!!!! I <3 mgg

  9. MorgaN AKA mojo December 30, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

    Dude…you are awesome. I love your poem..its like my whole personality..if only we weren’t 18 years just kidding..that would stalkerish..

  10. MorgaN AKA mojo December 30, 2011 at 8:41 pm #

    Ooh I forgot, my favorite poetry artist, or so I call Edgar Allen Poe. I think you would make great poems that resemble his poems.

  11. Shakira January 24, 2012 at 1:38 pm #

    Your poem is totally awsome i wish i could be there to inspire you

  12. jessica pate January 29, 2012 at 9:27 am #

    if only we werent 20 years apart because we are like the same person the reason i am afraid of the dark is cause of paranormal activity 1 i couldent even get to the middle part of the second one “the inherent absense of light” and i am pretty sure there is a ghost cow in my room but i sleep with a gard* hampster so i guess its alright and i need to meet you some day you and on the list of people i want to meet you are actally #1 haha

  13. onlytheimportantstuff February 9, 2012 at 6:33 pm #

    My friend is totally in love with MGG (not a stalker, but if she sees he’s in a movie, I guarantee you I’ll be dragged to see it – though I like MGG’s acting so I don’t mind) and I’ve decided to post a poem about her here. Knowing, hoping actually, that MGG will never see this because it’s kind of creepy to be doing this, but whatever:

    there’s a certain twinkle in her eye
    as she leans back in her seat
    unable to stay still
    because she burns
    like the sun

    as she leans back in her seat–
    you see her tattoo
    because she burns
    so brightly that
    the dark ink balances her

    you see her tattoo
    an aleph
    and her awkward smile but
    you’ll smile back
    because she hates math

    an aleph
    because it means forever
    you’ll smile back–
    I know
    because forever is all anyone ever wants

    because it means forever
    and she’ll fight for it
    I know
    she’s got the heart of a warrior
    bull-headed and stubborn

    she’ll fight for it
    until she’s got nothing left to give
    she’s got the heart of a warrior
    and the mind of a dreamer

    until she’s got nothing left to give
    but her final smile
    and the mind of a dreamer
    will bloom under her fingertips
    and eternity will feel like it will never be long enough

    but her final smile
    will be crooked
    it will be strange and too large
    joy is what she embodies
    but she’s dark as well

    will be crooked
    broken in places
    joy is what she embodies
    but even joy has shadows
    and her’s stretch, but do not consume

    broken in places
    but she’s tall
    even joy has shadows
    though hers are not long, because she is short
    ‘fun sized’ she’ll say
    as she smiles up at you

    but she’s tall
    made of bad jokes and wires and sugar and stories
    though hers are not long, because she is short
    her attention span like a squirrel on crack
    but ink is her blood
    and her dreams are a novel she has yet to write

    made of bad jokes and wires and sugar and stories
    but she loves dinosaur pancakes
    her attention span like a squirrel on crack
    she’ll probably play with it
    pretending the syrup is the comet as it comes

    But she loves dinosaur pancakes–
    Even though she loves Doctor Who and Harry Potter more
    she’ll probably play with it
    And pretend she’s the last Time Lord Wizard on Earth
    even if you look at her like she’s nuts.

    she tosses and turns in bed (sleeps until noon if she can)
    unable to stay still
    she loves small gestures (heart shapes escape her, but she’ll draw a smiley face on it)
    and she’ll give you a smile like there’s a secret
    you share, and you’ll ache to know what it is because
    there’s a certain twinkle in her eye

    Written in a pantoum form…such a fail.
    Oh well. It was fun. And long. Still feel really creepy.

  14. Karina Rankin February 21, 2012 at 6:40 pm #

    After reading that poem…I am madly in love and ready to get married!!! :)

  15. Alisha. March 16, 2012 at 5:18 pm #

    That was thee best poem ive ever read. Luckily for me i meet the criteria. Well clothing wise i foot know. I do wear alot of vintage clothing tho. But anyways. Truly admire matthew for putting him self out there. Not many celebrities would do and that is only one reason why hes my favorite actor. I would absolutely love to have just an hour to chat with him. Well i can dream right.

  16. Briar Dentice March 27, 2012 at 2:02 am #

    Sadly New Zealand seems void of men like MGG, here’s hoping some pop up out of the woodwork at somepoint.

  17. anna April 6, 2012 at 4:21 am #

    if i could blink my eyelids like a” jeanie” and land next to you, well my world would be pretty awesome, i think you should try blink your eyes and come over here!!!:)nothing in this world is impossible, but i think you already know that :) x

  18. Melissa Elizabeth April 11, 2012 at 2:18 am #

    Gubeyy tends to have an amazing sense of mixing just the right amount of creativitytasticness and awesomefuliciouslymagicalness and sweetheart-attitude shtiffs. He’s funny and weird too, which makes him even more of my hero. I thought I was the only one scared of the dark, haha. But yessh, if I were to spend even 10 minutes with him, I would ask a magical fairy to come and somehow make me have more time.

  19. Farahdin May 28, 2012 at 7:27 am #

    Hi there …this is nothing fancy, im not to articulate via texts anyway, all I wanted to say is I think ur a real nice guy, u ave beautiful eyes n a real nice smile, even tho I mayb all ov the above, im way to old 4u …lol, id kill u …:) I just wanted to say hi realllllllly so now thats done ill get bk to watching u, xx take care god bless xxx

  20. Indiah June 6, 2012 at 10:04 am #

    Matthew Gray Gubler will you marry me?

  21. erika r. June 10, 2012 at 5:15 pm #

    Absolutely love him!

  22. Samantha Bosco June 15, 2012 at 6:25 pm #

    Just saw this and its deep ya & do i love all those things mentioned of course (minus the Muppet) & mgg is adorable but it is sad not all guys are more like that especially the pb&j part haha:P

  23. samantha August 6, 2012 at 12:21 am #

    I love poetry this poem is beautiful and I know you will probably never read this Matthew because of all these comments but I just want you to know you have the most beautiful amazing personality I’ve ever seen Your eyes are beautiful and I melt when you smile I know out of all the women you can choose from I probably have no chance even though I fit the woman in your poem but I am half your
    age and this is why I know you would probably never fall for
    me I see nothing wrong with age difference and my Grandpa m is 20 years older than my grandma and they’ve been married for 50 years but the truth is if I met you I don’t know if I could even function correctly but I dream about you every night and I am determined to meet you some day the last thing I want to come across as is creepy but Im just speaking from my heart I know I’ve never met you and you have no idea who I am but l want you to some day and if your afraid of the dark I would be their to protect you from it I wouldn’t dare leave your side there is nothing I would rather do than make you peanut butter sandwiches in the shape of hearts until you can eat no more of them and spend the rest of my life doing everything I can to make you happy I think I love you but I know whatever is suppose to happen will happen so who ever you end up with who ever she is I hope your happy together so if you ever read this good luck matthew

  24. Autumne Sneed (@uberestrella) October 14, 2012 at 1:38 pm #

    “Boyfriend Wanted” A poem by Me.

    Matthew Gray Gubler

  25. Laura January 15, 2013 at 3:36 am #

    I have secretly been crazy about you for years now and after reading this I feel you are absolutely amazingly prefect. I know you hear this all the time and there is probably a better chance of me getting struck my lighting that ever meeting you.. Let alone anything else, but I can dream can’t I. Anyway keep up the great work and have an awesome life.

  26. Haylee February 4, 2013 at 5:52 pm #

    This has to be the sweetest thing I have ever heard, I hope you found the woman of your dreams, and I hope one day I can find a man as caring as you are. <3

  27. Celina April 13, 2013 at 4:36 pm #

    Omg I think I just died and went to heaven uh oh lol

  28. Jessica June 20, 2013 at 2:19 am #

    I would be shocked of bliss if I were to lay in your arms wrapping ourselves around each other.

  29. sharecash September 27, 2013 at 1:15 pm #

    Superb blog! Do you have any tips for aspiring writers?
    I’m hoping to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost
    on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option?
    There are so many options out there that I’m completely overwhelmed ..
    Any suggestions? Cheers!

  30. Brooke Bell June 3, 2014 at 8:48 pm #

    So pure…captivating…like u were speaking thru my soul, minus the being afraid of the dark…i find the dark very mysterious yet peaceful :) and in my opinion, Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas is the best movie of all time :) you are a rare find, a true romantic…it calms me to know that you are real

  31. Kayla.Liz June 8, 2015 at 5:05 am #

    That was the cutest poem ever!!!

  32. Kayla.Liz June 8, 2015 at 5:05 am #

    Reblogged this on kaylaer.

  33. kimwig101 July 12, 2015 at 3:39 am #

    Thats not a poem above. That’s just what he supposedly described his ideal woman, in an interview awhile back.

  34. Amishia O'Brien January 7, 2016 at 4:25 am #

    Mr. Matthew Gray Gubler, do you ever seen like such an amazingly surprising beautifully simplistic person. Your poem is sincerely beautifull.
    Thank you for sharing light on the world :-)
    With Much Love & Respect
    – Amishia O’Brien :-)

  35. Alexa April 26, 2016 at 5:18 pm #

    my beautiful love

  36. Susan Elizabeth Antonetti November 21, 2016 at 5:08 am #

    Hi Mr. Matthew Gray Gubler ! ;)
    My name is Susan, or Suzi , but please, not ever Sue unless you dont mimd being called Matt.
    i do believe that it is i that you seek!
    You see, you described me to the teeth! (So to speak.) You didnt mention the type you prefer, but i do have them. Other than that, when do i start? i look like “Elvira meets Mary Poppins!” My name is Susan Elizabeth Antonettii and i currently live in Long Beach, California ♡
    Please find me someday, somehow!
    i do believe that we just may really pair off a perfect match! We would match way better than your socks do anyway. ;) i really do believe we are compatable. i am a virgo/libra cusp. September 23, and ive been 39. (for quite some time,now) They “dubbed” me Jackie Benny, in fact :)

  37. Anonymous September 16, 2017 at 7:54 pm #

    mgg is so hot. too bad im wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too young for him.but seriously i think all of his gf’s left him because they couldnt handle his weird, childlike attitude. i think he needs to find someone as weird as he is…(btw mgg im single and ready to mingle and be super weird if ur reading this)

  38. Sydney Jenkins July 30, 2018 at 11:13 pm #

    hot I love bad boys going get me

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